Log Entry 150620.148

I lay on my bed feeling desperate and despondent. I had won, but the price had been high.
Lizzy didn't speak to me after the hearing. She had stood up and rushed out with Peter in hot pursuit as soon as she was able to. There were no tears of joys or celebrations for her though. She jut wanted to get out of there and as quickly as possible. Despite winning, she was distraught, her feelings hurt and the bitterness she felt towards me unmistakable. I felt awful.
I had remained in my seat while the room cleared, my eyes hot with tears and my heart heavy. The wounds I had inflicted upon Lizzy were terrible, and I felt ashamed at my spitefulness no matter how good the cause.
As T'Roc passed me, she laid a reassuring hand upon my shoulder. I looked up and she smiled down at me and said, "Sometimes victory can only be measured in acceptable losses".
There were wise words, but I felt no comfort in them.
It was all over, though, and Lizzy was free. She had won her right to be acknowledged as a sentient being. She could live her life as she wished, go where she pleased and do what she wanted, and I had to keep reminding myself of that. The way that I had achieved it was not kind or noble, but she now had everything she could possibly desire in life, and I had given it to her.
I didn't want a medal. I didn't even need a thank you. I just didn't want to feel so rotten about it, so I had to keep reminding myself of all those things, and I had to move on.

No comments:

Post a Comment